<p style="text-align: justify;"><img src="https://info.compassedu.hk/sucai/content/1686110863401/1686110863401.jpg" width="808" height="61" /></p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><img style="width: 243px; height: 242px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; float: none;" src="https://info.compassedu.hk/info_imgUrl_phpnZxkKy.jpg" width="243" height="242" /></p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #1890ff;"><a style="color: #1890ff;" href="http://m.frjozvw.cn/adviser_16374_1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">吳文靜</a></span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">2022年度&ldquo;創(chuàng)意先鋒獎&rdquo;，具備扎實的英語功底，專注商科和化學材料大類的英文文書寫作，從專業(yè)的視角為學生提供個性化的文書寫作服務，以認真負責的態(tài)度陪伴每一位學員，幫助學生斬獲港、澳、新、英等多國名校錄取</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">我們的許多學員在準備不同方向申請項目的個人陳述時，基于同一段經歷準備的寫作素材大都是一樣的，往往是對于科研或者實習內容的羅列，而忽略了不同項目的側重點。為此，<strong>我認為針對同一經歷在不同申請方向的PS中，應當基于申請項目內容來深入挖掘其經歷，從而呈現(xiàn)出與申請項目相契合的內容。</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">今天<strong>#心動的文書#</strong>欄目，老師就跟大家分享三位往期學員的案例，幫助大家把文書內容表達得更加深入和扎實，呈現(xiàn)出一份高含金量的personal statement。<strong>（下劃線加粗為好詞好句，大家可以收藏積累哦~）</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span class="h1" style="color: #1890ff;">01 經歷內容堆砌 vs 基于不同方向的申請項目，篩選重點，匹配內容</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Before</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">In 2021, I seized the opportunity to intern at The First Company of China Eighth Engineering Bureau Ltd.<span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【中國建筑第八工程局一公司】</span>, where I engaged in various projects, such as Aotidong Deep Foundation Pit Commercial Office Building Project and No. 17 Plot Super High-rise Office Building Project. <span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【羅列實習期間參與的兩個工程項目】</span>During work, I volunteered to work on the construction sites, hoping to apply what I learned in class in practice and gain practical experience.<span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【具體工作內容一帶而過，沒有突出表現(xiàn)】</span> Later, I was fortunate to be designated to work in the Construction Supervision Department, and therefore getting exposure to the work of project management.<span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【在施工監(jiān)理部門進行實習，與項目管理方向更契合】</span> In retrospect, this experience benefit me a lot in multiple aspects, which prepared me for my future study and work.<span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【經歷收獲輕描淡寫】</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">其實這段經歷有很多可以挖掘的地方，比如說去到施工現(xiàn)場工作期間的一些突出表現(xiàn)作為實習閃光點，施工監(jiān)理部門的工作可以單獨體現(xiàn)在工程管理方向；但是，這段內容在這里平平無奇，招生官很難捕捉到需要的信息。</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>After</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">土木工程方向</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">Outside the campus, my experience as an intern at The First Company of China Eighth Engineering Bureau Ltd. also witnessed my progress in construction technology<strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【開門見山，介紹實習收獲】</span></strong>, where I engaged in EPC contract explanation, Aotidong Deep Foundation Pit Commercial Office Building Project and No. 17 Plot Super High-rise Office Building Project. As an intern without practical engineering experience, I volunteered to work on the construction site of the Aotidong Deep Foundation Pit Commercial Office Building Project, during which I not only <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">had a good grip on</span></strong> the volume calculation of backfill soil in earthwork, the specific requirements for the completion of pouring and maintenance of concrete formwork and the causes of cracks, but also observed the end-to-side deviation of the engineering scaffold in a field investigation, avoiding engineering accidents. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【具體介紹通過工程項目一獲得的成長以及憑借敏銳的觀察力而避免了工程事故的發(fā)生，實習亮點】</span></strong>In addition, when dealing with the <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">arduous</span></strong> task of detailed calculation and valuation review of the parameterized list of the No. 17 Plot Project, I <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>taught myself BIM</strong></span> and adopted the Building Book Extension to quickly extract quantities of earthwork, concrete, etc. <span style="color: #1890ff;"><strong>【工程項目二中的工作表現(xiàn)，體現(xiàn)自學能力和知識運用能力】</strong></span>At the same time, I also <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>dedicated myself to</strong></span> improving the operation process and summing up the optimization algorithm of concrete components based on the actual situation, which won the recognition of the senior cost engineer. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【工作中主動優(yōu)化算法，改進操作流程，獲得同事認可，另一實習亮點】</span></strong>Currently, the optimization algorithm I proposed has been widely used by the technical personnel within the department. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【工作成果】</span></strong>Thanks to this internship, I have accumulated practical engineering experience and grasped construction technology beyond the reach of textbooks, which I believe will be of great help for my future studies.<strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【具體說明實習收獲】</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">項目管理方向</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">Outside the campus, I seised the precious chance to intern at The First Company of China Eighth Engineering Bureau Ltd. <span style="color: #1890ff;"><strong>【直接介紹與工程管理相關的在施工監(jiān)理部門的工作】</strong></span><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Remarkably</strong></span>, with my excellent performance and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>earnest working attitude</strong></span> in the Business Affairs Department at the early stage, I was given an opportunity to work in the Construction Supervision Department, where I took charge of documenting construction equipment purchases. It was during the recording process that I recalled knowledge about the CSCM. Combined with the actual situation on the construction site, I put forward optimisation plans for concrete procurement and inventory management in a report, which was later proven to reduce costs by 2% and material waste by 5%. <span style="color: #1890ff;"><strong>【亮點一：將理論知識與實際工作相結合，并提出優(yōu)化方案，降低成本的同時減少物料浪費】</strong></span>In addition, when dealing with the arduous task of detailed calculation and valuation review of the parameterised list of the No. 17 Plot Project, I taught myself BIM and adopted the Building Book Extension to quickly extract quantities of earthwork, concrete, etc. I also devoted myself to improving the operation process and summing up the optimization algorithm of concrete components based on the actual situation, which won the recognition of the senior cost engineer. Currently, the optimization algorithm I proposed has been widely used by the technical personnel within the department. <span style="color: #1890ff;"><strong>【工程項目二，因為內容和項目管理方向同樣契合，所以保留，作為亮點二】</strong></span>Thanks to this internship, I was deeply aware of the significance of project cost and project management during project planning and implementation. <span style="color: #1890ff;"><strong>【實習收獲與申請項目相呼應】</strong></span>The essence of project management is to use scientific methods and tools to discover a balance between time, cost and quality, which puts forward high requirements for planning, execution and control.<span style="color: #1890ff;"><strong>【進一步闡明自己對說明管理的認識】</strong></span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span class="h1" style="color: #1890ff;">02 經歷過于普通，缺少深入挖掘 VS 針對申請項目，深度挖掘亮點</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Before</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What&rsquo;s worth a special mention is my experience as vice president assistant &amp; administration head at Longfor Group. During work, I witnessed the team grew from 40 to 2,000 people, urgently needing to move offices. <span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【僅客觀描述工作場景，并未聯(lián)系到自己在這期間自身的發(fā)展】</span>Fortunately, I was assigned to take charge of the entire office relocation project. Before moving, I considered a lot of issues, such as how to avoid employee conflicts and improve employee satisfaction; how to ensure that the progress of the new office renovation project is on schedule; how to implement the final moving plan with efficiency and satisfaction, etc. <span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【工作內容的描述僅停留在&ldquo;想&rdquo;上，并未落實到行動中，無法體現(xiàn)個人能力】</span>My past experiences made me realized that there were no problems that cannot be solved while only solutions that cannot be found. I am eager to create greater value in a limited time and cost, which puts forward high requirements for my management ability. That&rsquo;s why I decide to apply for postgraduate program.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">整段經歷內容和申請的文化方向基本沒有任何關聯(lián)，完全是服務于MBA方向，卻也并未通過工作內容體現(xiàn)管理能力。</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>After</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">MBA</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What&rsquo;s worth a special mention is my experience as vice president assistant &amp; administration head at Longfor Group. Over two years since I joined the company, I witnessed the team grow from 40 people to 2,000 employees. With the organisation&rsquo;s rapid growth, I kept adjusting my mentality, changing from <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>high execution and response to senior management.</strong></span> <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【在公司進步的同時，我也在不斷追求進步】</span></strong>At the same time, the surge in staff made it<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong> imperative</strong></span> to move to new offices. It was a great honour for me to be appointed to take charge of the office moving project due to my outstanding working competence. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【語言表達進一步優(yōu)化，且說明負責該項目不是隨機制定，而是因為工作能力過硬，所以被委以重任】</span></strong>Instead of letting my leaders down, I delivered the project smoothly after conquering multiple challenges, such as improving the existing office environment to enhance employee satisfaction before moving, renting shared offices for newcomers, following up the implementation of the new office decoration project, involving site selection, design, construction supervision, etc. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【將上述腦海中思考的問題，轉化為實際采取的應對方法在PS中展現(xiàn)出來，體現(xiàn)個人能力】</span></strong>In this memorable experience, I strove to create greater value in a limited time and cost, and to care for employees while complying with the company norms. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【相比在結尾做出展望，也可以通過描述工作成就來進一步刻畫自己的能力】</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">文化</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What&rsquo;s worth a special mention is my experience at Longfor Group, a Fortune 500 private real estate enterprise with <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>customer-oriented corporate culture.</strong></span> <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【介紹公司時即點名企業(yè)文化，以此為突破口和文化申請方向呼應】</span></strong>As an administrative manager, I was responsible for office operations and standardisation system establishment. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【挖掘工作內容，這里介紹和申請方向更匹配的公司標準化體系建立】</span></strong>To this end, I travelled to branches all over the country to feel the office culture and local characteristics of local companies. On this basis, I <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">sought common ground while reserving differences</span></strong>, and established an office environment standardisation that could fully reflect our corporate culture and preserve the characteristics of every branch under the normative standards. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【基于實地走訪建立了既能體現(xiàn)公司文化又能保持各地分公司當?shù)靥厣霓k公標準化體系】</span></strong>Besides, I actively explored the commonalities and characteristics of team members to solve team problems in a targeted way and organised team-building activities to form an organisational culture. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【進一步介紹對于團隊成員的了解來進行團隊建設，形成組織文化】</span></strong>Through these experiences, I deeply felt the importance of culture to business management, which motivated me to pursue postgraduate studies in the field of culture.<strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【在最后，點名主題，將文化與企業(yè)管理相掛鉤】</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><span class="h1" style="color: #1890ff;">03 PS&ldquo;復刻&rdquo;簡歷內容 VS 結合申請項目，尋找不同切入點</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>Before</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What&rsquo;s more, I&rsquo;d like to further introduce my work experience at China Mobile, where I worked as a customer manage to participate in various projects. First of all, I participated in the expert training of Huawei ZTE, through which I mastered communication knowledge and project management skills. <span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【首先，參與了XX項目】</span>Besides, I was responsible for the 5G phone card and Gigaband upgrade business of the group&rsquo;s employees, realizing the upgrade target of 70% of the group employees. <span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【其次，還負責了XX任務】</span>Also, I took charge of an international school&rsquo;s 10-million-level 5G smart project. By analyzing the needs of the education industry, I proposed the &ldquo;cloud-network-end&rdquo; integrated solution for our customer. <span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">【并且，還負責了某某項目】</span>In retrospect, I harvested a lot from this experience.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><span style="background-color: #ebe5e5;">經歷描述和簡歷內容高度重合，并未就某一項工作內容展開介紹，難以體現(xiàn)個人能力。</span></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong>After</strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">管理</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What&rsquo;s more, my work experience at China Mobile deepened my understanding of management. Working in such a large company allowed me to experience its <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>prominent</strong></span> advantages, such as the dedicated ERP/OA that ensured the smooth running of business processes. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【以工作單位為突破口，闡述在移動公司工作感受到的管理體系方面的優(yōu)缺點】</span></strong>At the same time, I also perceived the corresponding disadvantages. A company with a large scale in business and personnel would <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">inevitably</span></strong> cause <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>cumbersome</strong></span> business approval processes and further lower work efficiency. Taking my customer manager position as an example, if the approval process was optimized by utilizing untapped resources, such as human needs, values and emotion, to motivate people together to do things well, I would have more time and energy to manage and maintain customers, thereby <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>refining</strong></span> the allocation of resources within the company and creating more value for the company. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【由公司現(xiàn)存管理體系的不足引出自己的觀點和建議，體現(xiàn)在工作中對于管理工作的反思】</span></strong>To some extent, this work experience inspired my <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>deliberation on</strong></span> management work and drove me to pursue a master&rsquo;s degree in this field.</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">市場營銷</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;">&nbsp;</p> <p style="text-align: justify;">What&rsquo;s more, my work experience at China Mobile deepened my understanding of marketing. During work, one of my performance targets was that I was responsible for the 5G phone card and Gigaband upgrade business of the group&rsquo;s employees. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【圍繞工作中負責的5G升級項目來展開介紹自己在營銷方面的突出表現(xiàn)】</span></strong>To meet the requirements for this target, I utilized the joint event of China Mobile and Alipay to upgrade the 5G tariff with iphone and Huawei mobile phone as gifts, and made use of the advantages of China Mobile&rsquo;s large number of users to create a marketing strategy of upgrading the whole family mobile phone tariff and getting Gigaband free. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【具體介紹營銷活動如何開展】</span></strong>Implementing these marketing activities realized the upgrade target of 70% of the group employees, making me rank top among the new employees in terms of KPI completion. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【工作成果】</span></strong>Through this experience, I perceived that marketing is an event combining rationality and sensibility. It requires not only rational thinking to calculate input and output, but also emotional thinking to deliver brand concepts to consumers through marketing skills, so that they can <span style="text-decoration: underline; color: #041c33;"><strong>resonate</strong></span> to achieve successful marketing. <strong><span style="color: #1890ff;">【抒發(fā)深刻的感悟與思考】</span></strong></p> <p style="text-align: justify;"><img src="https://info.compassedu.hk/sucai/content/1686110874378/1686110874378.jpg" width="808" height="188" /></p>